Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
Welcome to 2013, where Americans are, once again, calling for a national, local, personal, conversation on race. Every time this comes up I find myself rolling my eyes, sighing, and waiting for it to pass. Unfortunately, this time it seems to be a little more persistent than the last few times, so I got past that and into the question of "what does 'a conversation on race' even mean".
First, a disclaimer. I'm a young, white, male; I won't be claiming to understand what racial prejudice feels like.
Now that that's out of the way, let's start with something, 90% of us can agree on (I made up that statistic, but it isn't relevant to my immediate point). Racism is bad. I know that seems trite, but I'm afraid that if I don't say it explicitly, someone might misunderstand my point. If we can agree on at least that point, then we have a starting point for a conversation on race, which brings be back to the question, "what does 'a conversation on race' even mean" and the follow up question of "what does 'a conversation on race' look like".
On a national level, I don't think a conversation on race can happen. At least not right now. And why? Because no one at a national level actually wants to have one. Realistically, neither side (Democrat or Republican) has anything to gain by resolving racial conflict. The Democrats can count on racial tension to galvanize their base (regardless of race, all true Democrats hate racism and injustice with righteous fury). Meanwhile the Republicans, with their decidedly rockier relationships with minorities in general, can count on playing the 'playing the race card' card to rile up their own base. Since both sides benefit from the controversy, I can't see either side truly investing in actually addressing it. If the cynicism of that offends you... well... this is called "The Cynical Hammer", what did you expect?
Okay, but if we rule it out at a national level, we can still have this conversation at a local or personal level, right? Yes... maybe.
On a local political level, these conversations happen when they're needed, without the national call to action. When there is a race problem in a city, the city... eventually... addresses it. I think there's plenty of room to improve on that process, but that is going to rely on the personal conversations. Cities develop problems of race, not because they're led by cackling hooded figures who swear their allegiance to the Klan, but because they honestly don't see the policies and practices as racist or even creating a racial bias. If you want to have a constructive conversation about those policies, they need to be approached as well-meaning, but ignorant, not malicious. Accusations of deliberate racism are only met with defensive posturing and denial. Instead of bringing accusations, bring data, bring evidence that; well meaning as the policy surely was, it is clearly failing on racial lines. I know that places the burden on the victims to prove that they are victims, but we're at a point where we're not dealing with deliberate racism (for the most part), we're dealing with institutional, incidental, and accidental racism, and it needs to be addressed as such.
That brings me to the point of the personal level of conversations. First, we should accept that racism is never going to go away completely. People are typically hardwired to relate better to things that are similar to themselves and there will always be a certain, subconscious level, that feels that way. The best we can really hope for is to relegate it to the same level of importance as differences in height. Second, we should accept that both sides are probably going to have valid opinions and that disagreeing on something is not inherently racist. Third, and most importantly, we absolutely must accept that discussing these issues and asking questions does not make someone a racist or even intolerant. We will not move forward until we can accept that sometimes people don't know they're being offensive. Accusing or scorning individuals for trying to improve their attitudes only discourages them from trying.
And both sides need to take responsibility for their part in the conversation. When a white guy reaches out and says "how can I be less offensive" someone should take the time to answer the question. All too often the attitude seems to be "you should already know that, how dare you ask" and, you know what, yes, maybe they should, but they don't, and they're asking, so answer the damn question. And, when they don't ask and they're way out of line, say something. Say it politely, but firmly, and repeatedly if necessary.
In conclusion, I'm going to relate a pair of anecdotes. I'm not going to claim that in every circumstance that racism and homophobia parallel. I don't think they do, because there is something to be said for the fact that you can't necessarily identify a gay guy or a lesbian on sight.
First, I want to vouch for the effectiveness of honest conversations about offensive things. In college my fraternity, spurred by drunken antics, periodically threw informal "ask a gay guy" sessions. The questions ranged from benign to raunchy, from mechanics of how things work in bed to the social norms on who pays for dinner, and they touched on what is and isn't offensive. And people left knowing more than when they came in. Some took it to heart, some didn't, but they were productive enough to happen periodically. It is always better to ask the question and get the answer, than to make an assumption and be wrong.
Second, I had a roommate who knew I was gay, that idly, and with know malice towards me, would resort to using "fag" as a synonym for "idiot". I politely, repeatedly, and firmly reminded him that was offensive. (OK, I hit him in the arm with a wiffle ball bat every time he did it, but it was college and that was relatively polite.) He finally snapped that I would never change the world. My retort, and I wish I had this much wit most of the time, was "I'm not trying to change the world, I only need to change you". And that, ultimately, is the truth here. Racism, and all prejudice, born out of ignorance, can't be fixed at a national level. It can only be fixed by one person reaching out to another; by one person saying "this is something I don't know how to address appropriately" and another saying "that's okay, this is how".
No comments:
Post a Comment